The more perfect, the better? My answer is no. Striving for perfection made me more insecure and non-content about who I am and the things I do. Perfectionism is a myth. It’s the complete opposite of our nature. A distraction and an attempt to camouflage our pure existence with all its imperfections. And even if my zodiac sign Virgo dictates me to be an incorrigible perfectionist, I stopped being it – simply because it’s better for my health. I consider perfectionism as something utterly self-destructive. It’s not existing. How can we strive for something what we will never reach? As perfectionists we are supposed to never achieve our goal and to live our lives as a chain of unfulfilledness. So why are we still trying to go this way? Because we clearly care too much about what people think, and too less about who we really are. Perfection is something non-controllable, it is dependent on someone’s opinion and their perception. It’s not about self-reflection, it’s not about how we feel about ourselves. As a perfectionist your self-worth is dependent on the feedback of others. This concept leads us to a lack of self-worth, because we are constantly confronted with something which is not reachable, perceived by and dependent on someone else and disables our most important source of happiness: to reflect on ourselves. Like this we cultivate discontentment, frustration and depression. A vicious circle.
Why are we trying to look perfect and doing everything perfectly? So people can think that we are? Because that’s what counts in our society. Flaws are considered as something weak. But perfection on the other hand strives us to be discontent, as we think something is always missing. That we are not good enough, intelligent enough, strong enough, thin enough, beautiful enough. We are not happy. This is the source for our consumption behaviour. We always have the need to add something up to our lives. A better car, a more expensive bag, longer hair, thinner legs, better grades, a better partner. But why? Because if we would practice being content about our looks, about our thoughts and about the things we do and don’t, then most of all the economical structures would collapse. Can you imagine a woman who is totally content about her looks spending a third of her income for beauty-products? The answer is no.
So, what can we do about our society and its movements to cultivate perfectionism in order to manipulate our self-worth and boost our discontentment linked to consumption? We have to start looking into the mirror and start saying: I am enough. I don’t need to have bigger boobs, a bigger house or a better whatever. I am who I am, with all my vulnerabilities and flaws. I am human. And that’s why I am cultivating it instead of striving for perfection.
I know it’s always easier to write about these things then to live them. But let’s see this as a start. Perfectionism is nothing but a valve to distract from the ultimate definition of being human, which is being imperfect. Showing yourself up. And for this we all need courage. It’s not so easy to admit that we are not perfect, because we are constantly hunted by this little hairy perfectionism-monster in us. But it’s a form of manipulation, which is tricking us. Perfectionists are in constant desire for approval, because they are afraid of being confronted with themselves. Afraid to admit that they may not be enough. But for whom are we doing all this? For the others? And that’s the point. I started moving the question in my head from “What will they think of me?” to “I am enough”. We all are not flawless. We are not robots. We feel, we struggle, we are anxious, we are weak, we suffer, we cry, we love, we err, we fail. Yes. And that’s okay, because we stand up again. Wake up, world! Imperfection is the ultimate impetus of human connection. And in the end deep down we all are looking for imperfection, in order we can fill the holes in each other. If everything would be perfect, there would be nothing left to fill. Think about it.